calm control

So today some of my anxiousness and depression has simmered and my mind was able to have a clear view of thinking. This hasn't happened in a while for me. At least I haven't been able to feel like this without the help of Xanax in a while. I think maybe I'm beginning to see some perspective on my life. I am capable of success, I am capable of being happy. We all are. We need to make the proper choices of doing so.
My roommate loves to tell me what I need to be doing in my life in order to be sane and happy. She also loves to praise herself and talk about how great she is. This gets old quick. She also has a blatant alcohol problem. But I will never say anything to her because I know that I have to be the bigger person. Today in group therapy we talked about control and how we can feel out of control when we are overwhelmed and have others giving us commands and putting us down. The current theme I found was that each person in the group spoke about how others are bullying them and causing conflict in their lives. Each one of us in the group (including myself) are used to having to be the bigger person. And sometimes being this person that takes all of the hits others throw at them can become unbearable. How do we confront these people?
 I'm not sure how to answer this question myself. We are so used to taking shit from others that when we are at our breaking point its due to a huge buildup of anger and resentment that others have given to us. Still  don't know the answer. I guess its about believing in ourselves and being assertive and speaking out politely and effectively when the time is right. Together we can be the people we want to be and not let others put us down. I don't have all of the answers but I know that this can be accomplished. The first steps are to stay calm and BELIEVE IN OURSELVES!